Let us begin by defining a boundary first. Boundaries can be defined as spaces that establish identity and protection. As humans, we go through multiple phases right from the time we are detached from the umbilical cord connecting us with our mothers. These phases shape our rough edges and help us unlearn and adapt to the several cultures, knowledge acquisitions, and alternate realities. Our natural trait is to question and construct meanings, practise associations, and interpret.
The presence of dialogue in families and conversations on what boundaries are shall contribute to a proactive change both in parents as well as children. It can be as simple as exchanging smiles while you dine, and have a liquid-like conversation with pauses and steady confidence in tone. Communication is what it all finally comes down to and nurtures an individual to decipher what boundaries can provide the individual with.
There are always going to be people who try to suppress you and try to make you feel worthless, however, the choice of giving in to the toxicity is always ultimately going to be yours so it is important to learn to be strong when need be and know that it is not right to undergo any force if you are not willing to do it.
Learning to be strong in simpler terms is the idea of being assertive and children need to explore the different boundaries.
These boundaries include:
1. Physical Boundaries – Anything uncomfortable be it pulling your child’s cheeks and the child frowns as he/she feels uncomfortable, and this can be a relative or even family and we must understand that this is not normal – any infringement that concerns your body – cannot and will never be normal.
2. Emotional Boundaries – How one reacts to things is because of the past behaviour pattern and association. Feelings and emotions are like a Multiverse, and these are relatively unique among every individual. What might be funny to you may not be funny to your child, and it’s alright as they function with a different humour level. Boundaries are called boundaries as some level of mutual understanding or middle ground are fixed as affirmations.
- Personal Boundaries – We all function with Muscle Memory and this grows with us as we age into the different phases of life. Physical Boundaries are different from Personal Boundaries. There is a maximum application of Cognition and Muscle Memory that’s at play in a physical boundary space.
Personal Boundaries are more about the kind of choices and lifestyle changes our children should be able to make.
The choices children/young adults make in a challenging environment is his/her learning pattern, and as parents, if you wish for them to rework on it, doing pro’s and con’s and creating a healthy communicating space is a good way to start.
We as individuals belonging to a plethora of societies and communities have a different set of morals and principles. The one constant philosophy that we must always keep is to voice ourselves out when necessary. As individuals in society, we must understand our worth, and that it is not okay to be treated any less than another person.
Parents could start by understanding why raising children is not some kind of job, and incorporate healthy communication patterns with their child to relate with their personality and offer friendly feedback and help them in moulding themselves.
Identifying an Identity and getting comfortable with it shall perpetuate Boundaries. Privacy and understanding the emotional stature of the child is important even during times when the child has committed a mistake. We need to allow young adults to make their own choices because freedom isn’t something given or, even, asked for that matter. It shouldn’t be quantified or used as leverage. If used in such a way, we cannot call it freedom then.
Never suffocate yourself with things that cause you to break these boundaries or look like a breach. As parents, speaking of these boundaries to our children will contribute towards their growing up and deal with peer pressure, choices at institutions and workplaces. ,
Since we are not here for a long time we are here for a good time.